Loved Ones

Partners and family members are very important in the lives of intersex and transgender people. One of the biggest fears intersex and transgender people have, and this fear is shared by gays and lesbians, is the fear of coming out to loved ones and facing rejection. Unfortunately many people hold on to prejudice and ignorance and force intersexed and transgendered persons out of home and family. Do not make the mistake of alienating your loved ones, what they do is not malicious or frivolous. Talk with them, do not treat any person any differently than you would any other person simply because of their transgender or intersex status. Work through your emotions, and do your best to learn as much as you can about what your loved one is going through. Remember that your child, partner, spouse, sibling, friend or coworker is still that person.

Family

When a family member comes to you and tells you that they are intersexed or transgendered, it means that you have a family member who needs all the love and support you can offer. They are facing a very difficult, painful, and often very private life. In coming out to you they have acknowledged within themselves your importance in their life and, though fearing your rejection, need to be honest with you. If you experience any discomfort, remember that their life journey is not in any way shape or form meant to harm you. If you have questions, ask; be respectful and loving. If you have religious difficulties with transgender or intersex people, remember that God/the divine force has a reason for everything and loves all creations. There are support groups, books, and other people with whom you can share the experience of being related to an intersex or transgender person. Learn the facts, communicate honestly, and be loving and supportive. Let your family member know that you are there for them as a resource and a comfort.

Partners

If your partner or a person you are romantically interested in comes out to you as being transgender or intersexed, do not react in anger or fear or show prejudiced based on misinformation. The person before you is not trying to "mess with your head", there is nothing "wrong with them". They have probably been rejected from love many times before, and fear rejection from any potential partner, including yourself. If you feel you love the person before you, ask questions and learn the facts about their situation and their life.